Tricky question.
There are a few theories on this. The one constant rule, is that your overflow needs to be able to handle the return pump. This puts an upper limit on your flow.
Some people attempt to obtain all of their in tank flow, or a substantial part of it, from their return pump, i.e. they use the biggest pump their overflow can handle. The positives to this are that it reduces, or negates entirely the need for in tank power heads. The negatives are two fold, one is that with increased flow through your sump you are increasing the likelihood of micro bubbles getting into the main display. The second is that it is inefficient to use a large pump for in tank flow, when a smaller pump with power heads will generally use less wattage than one large pump.
Other's will use the smallest pump they can get away with for their return pump, and use power heads to create in tank flow. Your return pump runs 24 hours a day, and using a smaller pump can help cut down on energy consumption significantly even when using power heads to make up for the difference. Slower flow through the sump also creates less of a chance of carrying micro bubbles to the display tank. Remember though if filtration and heating are taking place in the sump, the turnover needs to suffcient to allow these processes to fucntion. People that I know who use this school of thought generally aim for 3x sump volume turnover.
Most people generally fall between the two, for a host of reasons.