Ooooo Lee Ann. I've got good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you've found us here at RDO to help you.
The bad news is that your tank setup is just about as anti-anemone as you can get. Anemones require absolutely
pristine water conditions, even the 'easier' species of anemones like bubble tips (BTAs).
1. Your tank has only been up 3 months. One of the mysteries of saltwater aquaria in the home is that anemones of nearly any type do much better in systems that have been running for a year or more. There's just something in a more aged system that gives them a higher survivability rate.
2. Your wet-dry filter and the bio-wheel are going to lead to higher nitrate levels, which spell disaster for anemones. Anything
registerable, even trace amounts (like 20ppm) is far too high for a host anemone.
3. You've got the right type of lighting, but I'm not sure about the intensity. Anemones require extremely high amounts of light. Most people wouldn't recommend keeping any anemone under less than VHO or metal halide lighting.
Sorry to be the bearer of so much bad news, but you're well on the way on the learning curve, so don't give up hope!
It does, though, sound like your anemone is on its way out. If the anemone has inverted itself and starts to look mushy, it's a goner. Make sure you remove it from the system or it will add some nasty pollutants as it decays.
(PS: your feeding regimen was fine)