I feed my Tubastraeas mysis shrimp and you can see when a polyp has captured one - they stick to the polyp. You don't want to touch the coral too firmly when you offer them food as they will retract into their cups too deeply to hold the shrimp. After awhile, the shrimp is taken in by the 'mouth' - sometimes the mouth closes leaving the shrimp tail hanging out. It's take a little while for these corals to 'swallow' if you know what I mean but they frequently swell up and re-expand afterwards.
If your coral is extending more each day, this is a good sign. Feeding daily or every other day is fine and you don't need to offer them seconds when they re-expand. If the coral tends to stay closed up or if the orange tissue covering the coral skeleton starts to retract, leaving areas of skeleton exposed, then it is not doing well.
I've read that polyps can exchange food between them but that it takes energy to do so, energy better spent on growing and catching food. I think it's likely that the new polyps gain their food from the more developed ones, as they generally start out without any tentacles of their own (so they can't catch their own food). A D. axifuga I rescued from a rubble box had one tiny polyp with no tentacles and no visible external connection to the other two polyps. I couldn't feed it as it never expanded, but it has since grown and now has little tentacles of its own and can catch small food particles. You should try to get food to as many polyps as you can, but if you miss some every now and then, it's not terrible.
Here's a pic of mine after it's been fed and it has 'swallowed' all the shrimp.