ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

[Oceans Ferevh]

I must rant! My husband has no clue about reef keeping and yet won't leave me alone and trust that I know what I'm doing! I had to do battle with him to get him to realize the importance of a refugium and now he says that I'm waiting my money by considering upgrading to MH lighting. Trying to explain to him the reasons for my wanting a sump is even more fun :? I'll be mucking around with the tank and he'll come in and try giving me advice or question why I'm doing something. "Beth, I get the feeling you're just waisting your money," "you don't need thet!" "oh god what did you get now" "why didn't you just buy that in the first place?" "what are you doing with that turkey baister?" I love the man more than anything, but his man-advice is annoying

Do you folks have this happen? I need comforting

 

[Joew]

HAHAHAHAHAHA<---------------------Laughs at Oceans
_________________
Mercedes Benz S Class

 

[Anonymous]

I know my wife is thinking the same thing, but she keeps it to herself. Men just don't know how to shut up!

And we never needs maps, either!

 

[Anonymous]

My fiance was cool with my reef keeping until she found out how much i've spent on my 220 gallon tank...

Her reaction to it made me realize that if I ever want to have that 600 gallon i've always dreamed of, I better hurry up and get it before the wedding.

 

[Anonymous]

I just say "I have had this all along, I just started using it I wish you would take more interest in my hobby". It seems to work, or either like Chris' wife, she just keeps it to herself.

 

[danmhippo]

So on and on with the horror spouse stories, Trust me, some would never understand.

Ocean, make it clear for him that unless you get the fuge setup, otherwise he will have to sleep on the floor.

 

[LA-Lawman]

I will hold an comfort you. My wife is the same way your hubby is.

I tell her this: You like looking at the tank right. You like teaching our little girl about the ocean right. Then leave me alone!

that usually gets her mad. then she comes back and says : "sorry" then i tell her i don't tell her that she doesn't need some wiz bang thingy for her job. or cooking or something. then she nods and thats the end of it.

BTW - Never ever ever tell him what it really costs to do anything.
Evrything i like to do costs bucks. Surfing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, computing. U must be carefull around the spouse or all will be lost.

we will try and hide you. But you must be willing to be hid! 8)

 

[SnowManSnow]

I've heard of Aquarium Spouse Support Groups. ASSG.

My wife is the same way... I'm lucky enough to have a pretty high stress job though, and she realizes this is a way for me to escape long enough to keep my sanity.

Truth be told though, we could probably all cut spending a bit and be fine Or at least spread it out one purchase per month Our tanks and inhabbitants would probably actually thank us for that!

Have another sleepless night!!! It's on me!

B.

 

[RSanders]

....then i tell her i don't tell her that she doesn't need some wiz bang thingy for her job. or cooking or something. then she nods and thats the end of it.

..Evrything i like to do costs bucks. Surfing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, computing. U must be carefull around the spouse or all will be lost.

Not to bust your b@lls are anything, but its funny that you compare things she needs for cooking and her job to your hobbies. :wink:

I guess my question for you (Beth) is.. Do you discuss decisions on the tank AHEAD of time, before you have decided what you want to get, including him in the decision? I've found that when I start the conversations with... "I've been researching lately and am finding out about these things that may cause us trouble down the road for what we're trying to do.".. to which she replys.."So.. what can we do?"

Not to mention if I didn't try and keep her involved in my hobbies, then we would NEVER get to spend time together.

~R

 

[Anonymous]

Oceans Ferevh, get him his own tank to fuss with, seriously. Let him expend his energy that way rather than bothering you.

I'm lucky my S/O loves the tanks, but then again he doesn't want to know how to take care of them. He just likes looking at the fish so I have it easy.

 

[spsmike]

Just before you add the fuge slip some sleeping pills into his coffee.

 

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like he is talkin down to you. Why do you let him? It's simple enough. Tell him it's a HOBBY, a PASTIME, something you work on for enjoyment, that the time you spend on your tank is the entire point of it.
Is he jealous? Does he resent the hobby because you are not giving him attention? If so, he's a loser, and if not, try to impress upon him your need to do something for yourself. Even if you make mistakes, so what???
Husbands and wives need time to do their own things. It's not selfish, it's necessary. Tell him to leave you the hell alone. If he is a decent human being, he will understand. If not, then he seriously needs to learn how to let someone else live their life without his interference.

Does he think you are the only one who has purchased things they don't need, or who has bought something when they needed something a bit different? That's part of the hobby, we all go thru it. It's called LEARNING.

Geese.

 

[Oceans Ferevh]

No, he's not talking down to me. He just dousn't have any clue about why I need to do what I do to the tank; and like others have said dousn't know when to keep his mouth shut He's a wonderful person and is my best friend. Trust me, in the end I do what I want to anyway. I have my refugium and now he understands why I got it. He'll see the light when I upgrade to MH also...literally. After all, I am the wife and thus do have the most votes...despite what you guys think :wink:

 

[Oceans Ferevh]

P.S. thanks for looking out for me. That's very sweet of you

 

[Anonymous]

After all, I am the wife and thus do have the most votes...despite what you guys think

No, that's pretty much how I think it works! :wink:

 

[holry7778]

Always offer two solutions to the "so called problem" you are trying to fend off. Make one an outlandish costly venture that has no reliablity, and the other a more likely decision (which is what you want) that has a "proven" sucess rate. We men are typically cheap and easy types that will normally sucker for that.

Sorry guys didn't mean to rat us out

 

[Anonymous]

P.S. thanks for looking out for me. That's very sweet of you

Sorry I ranted like that I can't stand seeing anyone downtrodden. I'd have chosen a career as a superhero, but I have no actual superhero powers :lol:

Hobbys are important, and not just for women. I hear men talking about how their wives don't understand their tanks, also. Normally I don't get so worked up about it, because most men can stand up for themselves. Most...not all