First of all, Nitrates can easily be compared to smog. It will not kill you but you might not feel at ease when present in the air you breathe. If the smog reaches a high level, then some weaker/more sensitive individuals will die. Higher levels will eventually wipe out the planet. Enough comparisaon.
If you have a deep sand bed, and you have sand stirrers, you are kind of shooting yourself in the foot here. A deep sand bed (DSB) will denitrify ie. remove Nitrates with bacteria that live at the bottom of the DSB. Those bacteria are anaerobic ie. that they do not require oxygen to live. Actually, if oxygen is present, they will not develop. Your sand stirrers are introducing oxygen in the DSB and therefore are detrimental to the bacteria colony that lives there. This is one part of the explanation.
Exporting the Nitrates is another way to get rid of them. Exporting is just a fancy term to say that some Nitrate feeding organism is present in the system, therefore removing them. Caulerpa and other marco-algae that are usually grown in a sump will do that for you. They will feed off on the Nitratre and will grow. Another benefit that comes with the growing of macro algae is that a bunch of other life forms will be growing all around it. On the other hand, Caulerpa algae needs to be lit 24/7 in order to keep it from going sexual. If you do not, it will not kill the algae but your tank water will turn yellowish and you might not like it at all. If left alone, the Caulerpa will probably grow all over your sump. So you snip, from time to time, some of it and... yes, feed it to your fish! If you have too much, just trash the snips you've cut out. Your tang will most likely love it just to name that one. That process is often refered to as "exporting nutrients". Of course, since the Caulerpa will feed on most of the Nitrate present, your tank should have less problem with algae growth ie. brown algae (diatoms) and/or hair algae. Now, don't get me wrong here. Caulerpa is not the final and definite answer to all your problems. It is merely one mean amongst others to keep Nitrates down.
The protein skimmer is another one. The reason why it is so beneficial to a marine tank is that it takes protein, organic matter and removes it from the water BEFORE it has the chance to enter the nitrogen cycle, therefore, bypassing the Nitrate production. So, a skimmer is like that famous card in the monopoly game : Do not pass GO, do not collect $200 and go directly to jail!!!
Now, I know what you mean by "I want NUMBERS!". Been researching that myself because I'm a complete newbie in the SW husbandry and I've only had a SW tank since Dec 2005. Now, you know as well as I do that all fish are not created equal under "water" (pun intended). Some are more hardy than others. I found that several fish will tolerate 40ppm of Nitrates without a problem. Most fish, NOT ALL, will do fine with 20ppm. Like it was said, 0 Nitrates is THE target. As far as corals are concerned, small polyp stony corals (SPS) will do fine with 20ppm and under. Forget it with Large polyp stony corals (LPS) or clams. They demand pristine water conditions. Oh, you may buy some and they will live for a few months, but will decay and eventually die. Mushrooms and tube worms, like Feather Dusters, will do fine with 20ppm.
Like I said in this thread already, an aquarium is a dynamic enviroment and therefore, it requires patience. Adding a bunch of fish or corals all at once will throw your water parameters out of wack for sure. Don't forget that corals are living animals (if you will) and should be treated as a fish when considering addding one specimen to your tank. So patience is the key here. You have to let your bacterial colony time to asjust to the new bioload that was added. Once that's done, you can add another specimen.
I'm sorry for that long winded post but I hope I have been able to shed some light on the subject. If you keep only one thing out of this post, please let it be that PATIENCE is the key to success.
HTH a bit.