- Location
- Baiting Hollow Long Island NY
So about six months ago our closest friends got a new Grand Son and he lives in Long Island right near where I live. Of course they wanted to see him all the time and they moved to Key Largo a couple of years ago so they bought a condo 60 miles east from my home out on Long Island in wine country about 90 yards from the Long Island Sound. We went to look at their new place and on the way home, I said to my wife. You know, I could live there. To make a long story shorter, we bought the place next door.
OK now we sell our house and after a few months of paperwork, and legal nonsense we go to closing. What Jiboni invented a Title Search and Title Insurance. That is the stupidest thing some Lawyer ever came up with. If I am paying for a Title search, why do I have to pay for Title insurance? Shouldn't the Title Search Company pay for that? Anyway, I was instructed to bring three bank checks to the closing. Of course I screwed that up and shorted them $2,000.00 so I had to find a "Bank Of America" to get the other two grand. Naturally they wouldn't take a personal check, cash, stamps, gold bullion, World Series Tickets or a signed picture of Nancy Pelosi.
As everyone at the closing is waiting for me (It was a Friday afternoon)I take off to go to the bank following my GPS because this was not my normal stomping grounds. After a few minutes the GPS "Lady" tells me You have reached your destination. There was a Bank of America there but it was closed and looked like it was boarded up since the Great Depression. Great, I put in another Bank of America and follow the GPS Lady there in the opposite direction. Now a half an hour has passed and my wife keeps calling me saying how the lawyers, bankers and real estate people were tying a rope to the rafters to get ready to hang her if I didn't get back with the check.
The "Lady" says "You have arrived at your destination". All I see is a Seven Eleven and I doubted they would lend me $2,000.00.
Otis the town drunk comes out of the Seven Eleven and asks me why I am banging my head against the brick wall. I tell him I am looking for this bank. He says it was a bank a few years ago but if you want a Bank of America, go this many blocks here, and turn so many blocks here, then bear right or left and you will be there.
I figured what the heck, the GPS Lady is on LSD anyway so how far off could Otis be.
The bank was right where he said, I run in a minute before the place closes and get the check and fly back to the closing just as they were going to light the sticks under my wife who was tied to a coat rack.
We close on the house and have a week to move out. I run to my favorite LFS and order a tank.
It sits there a couple of days and I rent a 16' truck for two days.
They load the tank on the truck and I drive it out to the new place.

The stand I built a few weeks before out of redwood because it warps less and the color matches my eyes. All the hardware is galvanized steel and it is also glued together with waterproof glue. I purposely built the legs out of 4 x 4s and not sandwiched 2 X 4s like many people do because I wanted to minimize places where two pieces of wood are together because those areas will get water in between and it will never dry, eventually, that wood will rot. This will also go behind a wall so you won't see any of it. The back of the stand (in the foreground) is built of sandwiched 2 X 4 redwood pieces sealed together for strength because I didn't want a support there that would interfere with that space in case I end up sleeping there or storing Oldsmobile parts.

Two days before my actual move I go out to the new place with the truck and drive up to the water at a boat ramp armed with enough containers to take about 40 gallons of seawater.
(I also collected the week before and carried that water out there with the truck)

I am in back of the truck with my 50' hose connected to a bilge pump and I am pumping water into the truck.
(actually the thing clogged with shrimp, hermit crabs and hot dog wrappers) so after a while I had to pump it into containers, then dump it into the truck)
I am actually a lot taller, skinnier and hairier in person, the camera adds 50lbs to how you look.

OK now we sell our house and after a few months of paperwork, and legal nonsense we go to closing. What Jiboni invented a Title Search and Title Insurance. That is the stupidest thing some Lawyer ever came up with. If I am paying for a Title search, why do I have to pay for Title insurance? Shouldn't the Title Search Company pay for that? Anyway, I was instructed to bring three bank checks to the closing. Of course I screwed that up and shorted them $2,000.00 so I had to find a "Bank Of America" to get the other two grand. Naturally they wouldn't take a personal check, cash, stamps, gold bullion, World Series Tickets or a signed picture of Nancy Pelosi.
As everyone at the closing is waiting for me (It was a Friday afternoon)I take off to go to the bank following my GPS because this was not my normal stomping grounds. After a few minutes the GPS "Lady" tells me You have reached your destination. There was a Bank of America there but it was closed and looked like it was boarded up since the Great Depression. Great, I put in another Bank of America and follow the GPS Lady there in the opposite direction. Now a half an hour has passed and my wife keeps calling me saying how the lawyers, bankers and real estate people were tying a rope to the rafters to get ready to hang her if I didn't get back with the check.
The "Lady" says "You have arrived at your destination". All I see is a Seven Eleven and I doubted they would lend me $2,000.00.
Otis the town drunk comes out of the Seven Eleven and asks me why I am banging my head against the brick wall. I tell him I am looking for this bank. He says it was a bank a few years ago but if you want a Bank of America, go this many blocks here, and turn so many blocks here, then bear right or left and you will be there.
I figured what the heck, the GPS Lady is on LSD anyway so how far off could Otis be.
The bank was right where he said, I run in a minute before the place closes and get the check and fly back to the closing just as they were going to light the sticks under my wife who was tied to a coat rack.
We close on the house and have a week to move out. I run to my favorite LFS and order a tank.
It sits there a couple of days and I rent a 16' truck for two days.
They load the tank on the truck and I drive it out to the new place.

The stand I built a few weeks before out of redwood because it warps less and the color matches my eyes. All the hardware is galvanized steel and it is also glued together with waterproof glue. I purposely built the legs out of 4 x 4s and not sandwiched 2 X 4s like many people do because I wanted to minimize places where two pieces of wood are together because those areas will get water in between and it will never dry, eventually, that wood will rot. This will also go behind a wall so you won't see any of it. The back of the stand (in the foreground) is built of sandwiched 2 X 4 redwood pieces sealed together for strength because I didn't want a support there that would interfere with that space in case I end up sleeping there or storing Oldsmobile parts.

Two days before my actual move I go out to the new place with the truck and drive up to the water at a boat ramp armed with enough containers to take about 40 gallons of seawater.
(I also collected the week before and carried that water out there with the truck)

I am in back of the truck with my 50' hose connected to a bilge pump and I am pumping water into the truck.
(actually the thing clogged with shrimp, hermit crabs and hot dog wrappers) so after a while I had to pump it into containers, then dump it into the truck)
I am actually a lot taller, skinnier and hairier in person, the camera adds 50lbs to how you look.
