i've also seen a nano that became tank of the month. no calcium reactor on that one!
the beauty of a tank has alot to do with the time it's been running too. none of those tanks you mentioned are 3 months old either. most of them are mature sps dominated tanks, with alot of designer corals.
if you want a TOTM, then you need to spend money, and alot of time.
those guys aren't the types to buy a used tank from craigslist, toss a light over it, a couple frags, glance at it once in a while ...and whamo! 6 months later they show up on AA magazine.
most who come into this hobby brand new(myself included), make mistakes- overload their systems, buy sub-standard equiptment, incorrect lighting, incompatable livestock...
i'm willing to be that some, possibly even most of those TOTM folks did the same at some point.
if you want that sort of situation at your house, i suggest buying the top of the line equiptment, and also the top of the line corals only.
i'm a firm believer, after my very short time with reeftanks, that the more nutrient export you have, the better off you are.
i went to a local reefer's house over the summer and bought some frags from him. my girlfriend and i immediately noticed that his fish were very "skinny". he mentioned feeding them about once a week.
this guy doesn't need to do the waterchanges i do. he came to my house and saw my tank- he immediately laughed and called my fish fat. he told me that in the wild, fish don't get to eat every day. food is not as available as i make it for my fish. i don't agree with that at all. my fish look massive and healthy, as do my corals. i would rather do extra waterchanges than skip feedings. this is something you'll have to decide for yourself.
meanwhile, i utilize a large refugium, and a skimmer. i also have increased my total water volume by 50 percent by adding a large sump.
and finally, i've added another 30 gallon frag tank to my system, which will increase the total water volume that much more.
But I tend to gravitate towards taking advice from people who can show results
my tank is 4 months old give or take. tell me...can i show results?