IMO the reason this question is so difficult to answer is that, as someone mentioned above, an established tank involves the system and the aquarist. I agree that A/N/N should all be zero, you should have a diverse sand bed, coralline growth, and a biological filter that can handle your bioload. However, that's not all.
When you can look in your tank and KNOW from your past experience that everything is OK, you have an established tank.
When you KNOW exactly how often you're going to have to scrape the glass without looking at the tank, you have an established tank.
When you can look at a certain coral behaving in a certain way and KNOW what your tank needs, you have an established tank.
When you KNOW every critter in your tank and you KNOW how they're going to behave, you have an established tank.
When you can see a certain coral closed up and KNOW you've got something causing a water quality issue before ever testing the water, you have an established tank.
When you can tell that your alk or Ca is off because you're not seeing the coralline growth you'd normally see, and your test results confirm what your observations told you, you have an established tank.
When you look at your tank and you see a part of yourself in the tank with your livestock, you have an established tank.
Anyway, enough deep thought for this Saturday afternoon.
Someone earlier asked when you can try difficult corals. IMO, the practical answer to that is when you've mastered the easy ones. When you can see your corals growth and when you can propagate softies successfully and when all your easy corals are thriving and wont for attention, then it's time to try a more difficult coral. Not before.
I've just gotten to the point now where I can watch my LPS get bigger week by week--the GOB is bigger by the week, the pagoda is ringed with new, tiny polyps and the hammer is open like never before. The bubble seems to get bigger and bigger and looks like it's forming a new mouth and a second head. The favites moon is bulging out--will it be forming babies, perhaps? The
Red Sea pulsing xenia is growing uncontrollably, I've fragged a sinularia into four very nice-sized corals (see ReefKeepers Marketplace...) and the 'shrooms are multiplying like crazy. I'd say I would be ready to try something more difficult--but my tank and I both are enjoying each other immensely right now and I'm going to stay put for a while. It will be there for a long time and I can always put something new in later...
Anyway, enough rambling. Hope you're all having a good weekend!