Two days ago I had some knee and hand surgery, just some tune ups because if you worked construction all your life and didn't ruin your joints, you didn't do it right. Yesterday I got a call from the GYM where my wife goes and a piece of machinery fell on her and clonked her in the back of her head. She also has MS so she doesn't need any more brain problems. When I got there five minutes later they were putting her in the ambulance to take her to the hospital. She also had this huge bandage around her head because it was also a nice gash. She looked like Mahat Maghandi. WE decided to take her to her neurologist instead of the hospital because as we all know. If they take you to a large hospital (and we are surrounded by them here) with a cut, you will be there on the gurney for 4 or 5 hours before anyone even knows that you are there. They will be bringing you coffee, doughnuts, magazines, crossword puzzles and flowers but no doctors because they will all be drinking coffee and taking care of the hospital fish tank in the other wing, a mile away. So unless you get taken to the hospital in an ambulance and you have 2- three foot arrows sticking through your head and one in your foot, they are not going to see you for days. Besides, her neurologist is a friend of ours.
So we call the neurologist on his cell phone and of course he is in Chicago visiting his Grand Children. We live on long Island and the ambulance driver wouldn't drive her the 500 or so miles to Chicago. OK, no problem, there are a bunch of neurologists in his office so we go there. I am not supposed to drive because of the pain meds they have me on and my knee is bandaged up from my toes to my neck and my hand is also out of commission so if I wanted to feed my fish, I would have to do it one flake at a time. That is if I used flakes, and I don't. So I drive her anyway and they give her an MRI. Everything is good but neurologists don't do stitches so we had to go to another doctor. We went to one of those "Docs in a Box" places because as I said, you don't want to go to a hospital. They installed 8 staples in her head. I would have used toggle bolts but what do I know? She seems fine now and I had to increase my pain meds because my surgeon said the stuff he put in my knee and hand would wear off today, and he didn't lie. I am not really typing this because my hand doesn't work so there is an out of work Supermodel sitting on my lap typing as I point to the places on the screen where I want her to put the words. Also these pain pills are rather nice and I could be typing this on my cat and not even notice it. Even though I don't have a cat. At least I don't think so.
My two surgeries went well, (even though I realize this is all about my wife) I had a great staff and many of them were Supermodels which is important.
My operation was delayed for 2 hours because the Jiboni before me overslept and came in 2 hours late so he pushed everyone back for that time. They should have let me operate on him just for fun. So it has been an exciting 2 days and today I need to get back to doing some stuff on my tank. I need to figure out how to do a water change without actually lifting anything or standing. I also want to complete building my water cooled LED fixture but I need my wife to tape the soldering iron to one hand and a drill to the other. But I can do it because I am not a Girly Man.
