As we age we normally gets aches and pains which are good because they let us know we are still alive. If we didn't feel anything that is because we are dead and no one wants that, or at least no dead people ever complained so we don't know how that experience will be, but most of us will find out in due time.
I have had this backache for about six months. Most people have backaches because we were designed wrong, kind of like seahorses.
I just figured my back ache was a muscle thing, but I am retired and it's not like I have been throwing Supermodels up on my shoulders to impress them. I actually never did that and Supermodels don't weigh enough to hurt your back anyway.
So after the 6 months my back is getting worse and I went to a lung doctor to see if it was a lung thing because it is higher on my back than normal, run of the mill backaches. Luckily, it is not my lungs. The lung guy, (or pulmonologist) said I have so much asbestos in my lungs that I could probably run through a burning house and nothing would happen to me. The asbestos is not affecting me right now because all the Agent Orange in there has it encapsulated which is fine.
He says I need to go to a muscular/skeleton guy.
I need an MRI.
I get an appointment with this Doctor and I like him very much. I bring the MRI and he says, OMG all the nerves in your lumbar region are inflamed and your disks are bulging. That is fairly normal for a guy who worked construction for forty years. I am sure accountants, lawyers, and people who make those little things on the ends of your shoelaces also get this, but I am only talking about me right now, let them write their own story.
(By the way, This story is going to be very anticlimactic as nothing exciting is going to happen. I figured I would mention that in case you don't want to read any more.)
He says he thinks he can fix this, temporarily anyway, but I will have it for the rest of my life. At my age, that will probably not be that long anyway so I am not worried.
He wants to stick needles in my spine and inject me with Grand Marnier. Or something that sounds very much like that. If that doesn't work, he will stick me with a larger dose and if that doesn't work, a larger dose. I said, why not stick me with the whole bottle of the stuff right away and forget about all the Sissy stuff in between. Maybe you can force it in there with a funnel and a plunger.
He didn't like that idea because I would imagine, this way he can charge my insurance three or four times. I also don't think he knew what a plunger was.
Anyway, if that doesn't work, he will give me an epidural, like they give pregnant ladies. I don't feel pregnant and I thought that was only a temporary pain thing for the Mother but what do I know!
I will let you know how it goes, I may enjoy the journey.
(I told you it was anticlimactic)