This morning at 6:00am I went to a doctors office for an endoscopy. Yes, Sunday morning at 6:00 am. What kind of Doctor works on a Sunday much less at 6:00 in the morning?
It was just a routine thing and if you live long enough they send you for all sorts of fun things. I especially enjoy the colonoscopies.
Luckily, you only have to go for colonoscopies like every 4 or 5 years until you are about 70. Then you don't have to go anymore because they figure you are going to croak soon anyway so why bother?
The last endoscopy I had was probably 35 years ago. I forgot why they did it then but, they didn't knock you out. They just stuck this camera on a tube up your nose, where it goes down your throat and chocks the crap out of you while the "Doctor" who barely spoke English keeps yelling at you to keep swallowing. If you weren't flailing your arms about from choking you would have them around the Doctors neck choking him.
At least this time they knocked me out which was a very pleasant experience and I love getting anesthesia as I had (I think) 28 surgeries. All for silly things like broken bones, torn and dislocated things. Of course if you are a computer programmer, web site developer or some other sitting down job, you may not have the "manly" experience of tearing and breaking things.
Before they knocked me out, I reminded them to make sure they used the correct tube on me and not the Colonoscopy tube.
The first colonoscopy I had was also not very pleasant because they didn't knock me out for that either. Maybe anesthesia was to expensive then, I really don't know.
But although that was not painful, it is "very" uncomfortable, especially when they have this cute, Like 18 year old girl handing the Doctor this 20' or so long garden hose with a light bulb on the end and he wants to stick it you know where.
There was a TV on in front of me and I figured that was to calm my nerves as I watched "I Love Lucy" or "Who wants to Marry my fat, Wino Dad".
The TV was not for that. It was for me to watch, In living color this camera going into regions I had no interest in seeing.
As I watched the TV screen the doctor says to me. Do you see that!!!. It was these Purple "grape" looking things and I knew instantly that I had either Bubonic Plague or Ich.
He said, that is the stuff you drank to prepare for the test. OK thats fine.
Then he says, Do you see all those red veins popping out all over the place. OMG, now I really figured, this is it and my life started to flash before my eyes. I thought about what my wife and Daughter were going to do. Who was going to take care of my fish and would they give them live white worms or throw out my reverse under gravel filter. Do they even know how to test for alkalinity?
Then he said: Those veins are very good.
I said Hey Doc. Start those types of sentences with something like Wow, thats good, then explain what it is.
A similar thing happened to me just before one of my torn rotator cuff surgeries. (I had about 5 of those) I was in the "Hospital For Joint Diseases" in Manhattan and they wheeled me into the operating room before the Doctor was in there and before they knocked me out.
To my left was a stainless steel table / workbench about 15' long. On it were large cro bars, demolition hammers, drills, saws, both hand and electric, drill presses, huge pliers etc.
After the surgery I saw the Doctor and I told him. Doc, something is very wrong. He said, are you in a lot of pain? I said yes, but thats not it.
When you wheel someone into surgery and they are awake, they don't want to see demolition tools like we break up streets with.
They want to see microscopic instruments, microscopes, tweezers, Thin spools of thread, bunny rabbits etc. Make a note of that.